Blessings or Cursed
This afternoon has been especially hard for me. I’m thinking about my children. They mean the world too me. The are blessing me and cursing me all at the same time. It’s because of them, not directly of course, that I feel the way I do. I do not understand it. I am hving an exceptionally bad afternoon. Looking at my children is bringing me pain. Pain for what has happened. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not exactly blaming them. I don’t know exactly what I’m saying here though either. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t function as a father right now. I don’t have the option of being with you. Good thing my work is so stress free. There are so manyt hings I can’t do without you. I have no appetite, no desire, I feel like a robot. I can’t function properly unless someone tells me what to do or feel.
