Love=War http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com Waiting for you forever Tue, 31 Jul 2007 17:13:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 en hourly 1 Trying http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/31/trying/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/31/trying/#comments Tue, 31 Jul 2007 17:13:25 +0000 Waiting for you It's been almost a whole month now. I still care about you alot. I wish I didn't but only for my own selfish reasons. I know you really are a great person. One of a kind. Hopefully things will all work out. I'm just dealing with my current problems one at a time and hoping that distracts me just enough. I'm also waiting n a few things to get going here in my life. Hopefully I'll find things out sooner then later. Also since this is like my private journal and I notice there are people looking at it. Please comment and identify yourself. Thank you. ]]> It’s been almost a whole month now. I still care about you alot. I wish I didn’t but only for my own selfish reasons. I know you really are a great person. One of a kind. Hopefully things will all work out. I’m just dealing with my current problems one at a time and hoping that distracts me just enough. I’m also waiting n a few things to get going here in my life. Hopefully I’ll find things out sooner then later. Also since this is like my private journal and I notice there are people looking at it. Please comment and identify yourself. Thank you.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/31/trying/feed/ Unmotivated http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/29/unmotivated/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/29/unmotivated/#comments Sun, 29 Jul 2007 05:40:48 +0000 Waiting for you Lately I haven't been feeling like doing anything. Anything I try to accomplish seems like it's only getting a half ass effort at best. I sit down to eat, I eat maybe ha;f of what I used to. My head is always hurting. My body aches. I have to force myself to do things I used to love. There are a few times a day where I get passionate about something, very few, and they usually involve you in some way. I'll make it through this. I've been alot worse. So I should be able to handle this this time. I still love you alot and miss you even more. ]]> Lately I haven’t been feeling like doing anything. Anything I try to accomplish seems like it’s only getting a half ass effort at best. I sit down to eat, I eat maybe ha;f of what I used to. My head is always hurting. My body aches. I have to force myself to do things I used to love. There are a few times a day where I get passionate about something, very few, and they usually involve you in some way. I’ll make it through this. I’ve been alot worse. So I should be able to handle this this time. I still love you alot and miss you even more.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/29/unmotivated/feed/ Angry http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/27/angry/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/27/angry/#comments Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:49:33 +0000 Waiting for you I am about fed up. I've completely had it. I'm tired of life fucking shitting on me. I pay my taxes. What the fuck did I do in a past life or current one that was so damn cruel. Did I kill 100 small children and puppies? Must have been something terrible. I've completely had it. There is no point in trying to live. Thing get going good. Shit falls, and just doesn't stop. I've had a whole month of shit, and thank god this month is almost fucking over. August was shaping up to be a wonderful month. Fuck I don't know how know. All of the good things that happened to me this month were the result of something negative happening first. That aint right. Direct result even. Sure my back doesn't hurt know, but why the fuck did it in the first place. My heart and soul are know blackened. I have enter the nightmare from hell, Dark Illusions Here I come. ]]> I am about fed up. I’ve completely had it. I’m tired of life fucking shitting on me. I pay my taxes. What the fuck did I do in a past life or current one that was so damn cruel. Did I kill 100 small children and puppies? Must have been something terrible. I’ve completely had it. There is no point in trying to live. Thing get going good. Shit falls, and just doesn’t stop. I’ve had a whole month of shit, and thank god this month is almost fucking over. August was shaping up to be a wonderful month. Fuck I don’t know how know. All of the good things that happened to me this month were the result of something negative happening first. That aint right. Direct result even. Sure my back doesn’t hurt know, but why the fuck did it in the first place. My heart and soul are know blackened. I have enter the nightmare from hell, Dark Illusions Here I come.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/27/angry/feed/ Dreaming of You http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/22/dreaming-of-you/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/22/dreaming-of-you/#comments Sun, 22 Jul 2007 01:11:56 +0000 Waiting for you I miss you alot. Everything we do, even those little pokes on facebook, make me happy for a good solid evening. I had a dream about you. We were lieing in bed, just talking. Then I looked at you and told you I had something I needed to tell you, something I had to get off my chest. We stared into each others eyes and I couldn't tell you anything, you started growing impatient with me, so you kissed my neck like you can, and turned me into instant pudding. Then I told you all the things I want to talk about with you know. After that I stared deeply into your eyes, you replied but but and I woke up. Everything felt so real. My days without you are getting harder, we have the same friends, my daughter always sees through me, and says, Dad you miss Kim. Then I have to leave the room for a moment. My family asks if i'm talking to you. My friends ask. Everyone is always asking me how we are doing. And everyone knows we aren't together. Except for my daughter. I'm just waiting it out, hoping things get easier for me, instead of harder. This blog helps, my other blog helps. But things seem to be getting harder. ]]> I miss you alot. Everything we do, even those little pokes on facebook, make me happy for a good solid evening. I had a dream about you. We were lieing in bed, just talking. Then I looked at you and told you I had something I needed to tell you, something I had to get off my chest. We stared into each others eyes and I couldn’t tell you anything, you started growing impatient with me, so you kissed my neck like you can, and turned me into instant pudding. Then I told you all the things I want to talk about with you know. After that I stared deeply into your eyes, you replied but but and I woke up. Everything felt so real. My days without you are getting harder, we have the same friends, my daughter always sees through me, and says, Dad you miss Kim. Then I have to leave the room for a moment. My family asks if i’m talking to you. My friends ask. Everyone is always asking me how we are doing. And everyone knows we aren’t together. Except for my daughter. I’m just waiting it out, hoping things get easier for me, instead of harder. This blog helps, my other blog helps. But things seem to be getting harder.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/22/dreaming-of-you/feed/ Regret http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/18/regret/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/18/regret/#comments Wed, 18 Jul 2007 05:42:20 +0000 Waiting for you Regret. That's the word that describes how I feel about my kids. I regret because they are partly the cause of me losing someone very special and very close in my life. Hopefully now I will feel better about this. ]]> Regret. That’s the word that describes how I feel about my kids. I regret because they are partly the cause of me losing someone very special and very close in my life. Hopefully now I will feel better about this.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/18/regret/feed/ Untitled http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/17/untitled/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/17/untitled/#comments Tue, 17 Jul 2007 23:11:22 +0000 Waiting for you I feel so alone

My heart's been torn apart

These thoughts keep fluttering

As my soul begin to part

My heart has been blackened

As well as my soul

Waiting takes forever

For it to become whole

With you, I felt so alive

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I feel so alone

My heart’s been torn apart

These thoughts keep fluttering

As my soul begin to part

My heart has been blackened

As well as my soul

Waiting takes forever

For it to become whole

With you, I felt so alive

]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/17/untitled/feed/ Blessings or Cursed http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/16/blessings-or-cursed/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/16/blessings-or-cursed/#comments Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:51:22 +0000 Waiting for you This afternoon has been especially hard for me. I'm thinking about my children. They mean the world too me. The are blessing me and cursing me all at the same time. It's because of them, not directly of course, that I feel the way I do. I do not understand it. I am hving an exceptionally bad afternoon. Looking at my children is bringing me pain. Pain for what has happened. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not exactly blaming them. I don't know exactly what I'm saying here though either. I just don't know what to do. I can't function as a father right now. I don't have the option of being with you. Good thing my work is so stress free. There are so manyt hings I can't do without you. I have no appetite, no desire, I feel like a robot. I can't function properly unless someone tells me what to do or feel. ]]> This afternoon has been especially hard for me. I’m thinking about my children. They mean the world too me. The are blessing me and cursing me all at the same time. It’s because of them, not directly of course, that I feel the way I do. I do not understand it. I am hving an exceptionally bad afternoon. Looking at my children is bringing me pain. Pain for what has happened. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not exactly blaming them. I don’t know exactly what I’m saying here though either. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t function as a father right now. I don’t have the option of being with you. Good thing my work is so stress free. There are so manyt hings I can’t do without you. I have no appetite, no desire, I feel like a robot. I can’t function properly unless someone tells me what to do or feel.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/16/blessings-or-cursed/feed/ Deja Vu?? http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/16/deja-vu/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/16/deja-vu/#comments Mon, 16 Jul 2007 05:02:09 +0000 Waiting for you I'm having a strange sense of it. I just talked to you again. I am confused all over again. Not that I had everything figured out before but now I am slightly more confused. Also seems that this is getting harder and harder, not easier like its suppose to be. I know it hasn't been that long yet but still. The last one to do this, things got easier. I also can't see things getting easier, and I'm trying to not. Why Do I do this. Over and over I seem to fall for you. I'm trying not to. Do you know what your doing to me?? ]]> I’m having a strange sense of it. I just talked to you again. I am confused all over again. Not that I had everything figured out before but now I am slightly more confused. Also seems that this is getting harder and harder, not easier like its suppose to be. I know it hasn’t been that long yet but still. The last one to do this, things got easier. I also can’t see things getting easier, and I’m trying to not. Why Do I do this. Over and over I seem to fall for you. I’m trying not to. Do you know what your doing to me??
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/16/deja-vu/feed/ Purpose of Life http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/15/purpose-of-life/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/15/purpose-of-life/#comments Sun, 15 Jul 2007 04:10:07 +0000 Waiting for you What is the purpose of life? More specifically my life? I kinda hoped to be at a better place right now. Maybe I have everything I'll ever get in life. I'm not talking about financial gains. I've learnt that money doesn't make you happy. Just makes you rich and owner of some cool  things. I've been reminasing my life, and I've got 2 things. They are an amasing 2 things but still 2. I have 2 great kids, now that's just 1 thing, and some great friends. Thats about it. I've lost more things. I lost a wife and an amasing girlfriend. Life is so funny it seems. What do nice guys like me get in life? Good girls like bad boys, and good boys don't like bad girls. What kind of joke is that? Should I keep on being a nice guy? Am I maybe too nice? I don't have the answer, maybe someout there does. Please responf someone. ]]> What is the purpose of life? More specifically my life? I kinda hoped to be at a better place right now. Maybe I have everything I’ll ever get in life. I’m not talking about financial gains. I’ve learnt that money doesn’t make you happy. Just makes you rich and owner of some cool  things. I’ve been reminasing my life, and I’ve got 2 things. They are an amasing 2 things but still 2. I have 2 great kids, now that’s just 1 thing, and some great friends. Thats about it. I’ve lost more things. I lost a wife and an amasing girlfriend. Life is so funny it seems. What do nice guys like me get in life? Good girls like bad boys, and good boys don’t like bad girls. What kind of joke is that? Should I keep on being a nice guy? Am I maybe too nice? I don’t have the answer, maybe someout there does. Please responf someone.
]]> http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/15/purpose-of-life/feed/ Good Morning http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/14/good-morning/ http://lovelovelovelove.blog.com/2007/07/14/good-morning/#comments Sat, 14 Jul 2007 04:10:16 +0000 Waiting for you I woke up this morning and I felt awesome. Well ok I woke up at 1pm. I shouldn't have felt awesome. I got home at 6am last night. That's not alot of sleep and the events in the past week shouldn't have me feeling awesome. I do though. I am reorganizing my life. Doing some things to better myself abit for. I'll leave it a that. Not that there are personal things, but they are boring things. Anyways I'm hoping that there are signs that you are ok. Hopefully you get your issues straightened out. Talking to you makes me so happy. Especialy when you initiate. Which I think is why I am so happy. HAPPY HAPPY. ]]> I woke up this morning and I felt awesome. Well ok I woke up at 1pm. I shouldn’t have felt awesome. I got home at 6am last night. That’s not alot of sleep and the events in the past week shouldn’t have me feeling awesome. I do though. I am reorganizing my life. Doing some things to better myself abit for. I’ll leave it a that. Not that there are personal things, but they are boring things. Anyways I’m hoping that there are signs that you are ok. Hopefully you get your issues straightened out. Talking to you makes me so happy. Especialy when you initiate. Which I think is why I am so happy. HAPPY HAPPY.
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