It’s Been Awhile
Thing were going great. Its funny how life works out. My kids kept me in a marriage which eventually failed. Now they have driven a love out of my life. I don’t regret having them. There isn’t a day in my life that goes by that a even think of such a thing. I love my kids. No one will ever come between me and them, ever. I don’t know what was with this girl. She seemed very confused. I know she can handle the kids. She’s great with kids. Maybe she doesn’t want to settle down and take responsibilities ever. She does live pretty care free. Not even part time responsibilities. That’s all my kids are. And I don’t expect anything of her with them, except to like them and put up with them for the few days that I have them. Things between me and her never even got to that stage. She saw them for maybe 15 mins last weekend. Guess that was enough to put the fear in her. What’s making this the most difficult is our goodbye yesterday. It was anything like I’ve ever expereinced before. After she told me, we went out for dinner, which was hard but it worked. Then back to her place to get my things, I had packed as I figured I had 4 days off with her. We sat and looked at each other, she even took my sunglasses off so she could stare directly into my eyes. Sadness would’ve been all she saw. We held hands, looked into each others eyes, I don’t even remember what words were said. I remember a few, she said she wanted to kiss me, so we kissed. Then more words wee said, I said I didn’t want to go. We kissed again. We might have even kissed another time. Then she said she didn’t want to see me go. She got up, went to her room, but before, I called her back. She stopped. I approached her and we had a vey passionate goodbye kiss. Then we held each other, and sobbed. On the ride back home I texted her that I forgot to mention I love you, and that I could never be mad at you, and that your not selfish. I hope this isn’t goodbye. This girl was amasing. I am hoping we can still be friends, but I’m not even sure if I can handle that. This girl completely changed the way I looked at life. For the better. Taught me how to live and have fun again. I guess responsibilities suck.
